Reasons Why
Recently, I have been thinking and writing about love. Nancy and I have spent a lot of time together talking about love. Over the next few blogs, I want to share with you some of our thoughts and conversations.
On your wedding day, if I had asked you why you loved your bride or groom, what would you have said? I loved Nancy because she was beautiful, fun to be with, and I could not wait to spend every night with her sleeping by my side. All three of those are still true today and I could add a fairly long list of other “reasons why” to them.
She cares deeply for me. She anticipates what I need and want. She is the best “best friend” ever. She puts up with me. She laughs when my jokes are funny and when they are not. She lets her love for me win out over the anger she may feel towards me at times. She is willing to give anything a try - which is why hiking has recently been added to our activity list. She takes me with her to get pedicures and pays for me to have one too. There are a lot more “reasons why” but I’ll stop here and let Nancy share some of hers.
Nancy: When I first met you, it was an attraction. It wasn’t really love. The love really didn’t start happening until I started getting to know you better and better. But I thought I was in love until I got to be much older. Then I realized I didn’t even know what love was really all about. When you go through seasons of your life, good and bad, and you learn to live with this other person that God’s given you, then you learn to truly love them for who they are and what they mean to you. That deepens as you get older and older, until now, I can say that I truly love you with everything. With my heart, and that I couldn't say, even ten, 15, 20 years ago.
Kim: What are some specific reasons why?
Nancy: For all we’ve been through. Watching you through all of that, I saw you mature into a young man, and now, into a wise older gentleman that I can respect for who you are and what you've become. I don't think I really respected you when we first met. I knew you were a good guy, but I didn’t have a lot to go on. Now that I’ve watched you live life, and go through business and ministry, parenthood and grandparenthood, your counseling and your passion for marriage, and the respect others have for you, all of that has deepened my respect for you.
Now it’s your turn. What would you have said on your wedding day if I had asked you why you loved him/her? Write down your answers.
What are some reasons you love your spouse today that you can add to your list?
One of the prayers that I have seen God answer for me is to have my love for Nancy grow and deepen. I really do not think my love for her would have grown the way it has without God’s help. I often ask Him to help me see Nancy through His eyes. Wow, that has made a big difference. He strips away my critical spirit and selfishness and helps me embrace her as the gift He has given me in this marriage. I don’t think that love ever has to stop growing in a marriage but it can fizzle out. We have to make the choice: Will our love grow or will it fizzle?