Protecting Your Marriage: Time?

There are some things concerning how much time each of you spend together and separately with your family of origin that you will need to talk about. Communication on these issues is essential. If you don’t talk about it and come up with a plan that works for the two of you, then inevitably problems will occur. It really is all about balance and it is essential that your marriage come first. If both of your families live close by, then you will need to be intentional about your schedule.  

Don’t forget, in most cases, these are people that love you and just want to spend time with you.  Decide together what you can do and what you cannot do. Do you go to their home, have them to yours, or both or do you meet someplace? How often do you get together? How long do you stay? What can make family time better for the two of you and for everyone? Now, if your families live in different cities than you do, it can make some decisions easier but can also create new challenges. Talk about when you will visit and when they will visit. Do you stay in family homes or in hotels? How long a stay is just right?

For most of you it will be a work in progress, which is okay as long as you are talking to each other and working on the issues. My ideal for you is that you have loving, healthy relationships with family members on both sides. Your role is to decide together how to make that happen.  Aim high and make adjustments as needed. Make your boundaries clear. Stay on the same team. Don’t let family chip away at your marriage. The goal is to have good quality family time that everyone can enjoy. It can happen. It will just take some work.