So Many Differences
Have you noticed ways that you and your spouse are different? Not just your bodies, but maybe in your likes and dislikes. It may be the way you look at a particular situation. It may be how you load the dishwasher!
Most couples fight over their differences at least to some extent. Whatever stage of marriage you are in, isn’t it time to really focus on loving each other better? Isn’t it time to put the gloves down?
Here is a novel idea. Why not accept each other’s differences? Why not see each other’s differences as opportunities to grow and to learn? You probably know by now that differences will either pull the two of you apart or bond you closer together. If you let them pull you apart, a portion of that love you are building will go too. I believe that God made us all unique and that our differences are what make our marriages truly special.
For example, if Nancy and I were exactly alike, I think we would have bored each other to death a long time ago. I get enough of me as it is! Our differences have been frustrating at times but without them neither of us would be who we are today. God used Nancy’s differences to grow me, to teach me and to help mold me more into who He created me to be. He did the same for her.
Overtime with Nancy:
Kim: So what differences have we had to accept? Are there any we still struggle with?
Nancy: Well, for one, there’s the way you drive. I have not come to terms with that. You take your time, but when I get in the car I get impatient and I just want to be there already!
Kim: Well, it’s not like I just started that. It’s been that way since you met me. I think we’ve accepted a lot of our differences. I think over time we’ve lined up a lot. Our beliefs and values are very much in line. Politically we line up together. We don't argue about much. We discuss things, but we don’t argue. Our differences mainly were figuring out how to have a life and a marriage that was different from your family, and unique to us. I always thought my family was healthier than yours.
Nancy: Well, they were.
Kim: Yes, but we didn’t need to try to be them. For a while I thought our marriage should fit their template, and that held us back.
Nancy: But they gave us a pattern to go by.
Kim: We saw unconditional love, patience and respect.
Nancy: ...And commitment, and overlooking each other’s flaws.
Kim: We have become a lot like them in those ways. Are there any other differences?
Nancy: Well, we haven’t lost our uniqueness. You’re still you, you know. I’m still go-go-go, while you’re more laid back. They’re not bad, just different.
For You:
What are the differences in your spouse that bother you?
Pray for God to mold your spouse into who God wants them to be.
Begin looking at the differences as opportunities instead of obstacles. Can you imagine the difference it would make?
If you want a way to boost your love for each other, embrace each other’s differences.