Sex in Marriage: Baggage - Day 3

Last time I talked about the baggage Nancy brought into our marriage.  Today it is my turn.  

BAGGAGE - 3

Like most guys at twenty years old I thought about sex.  In fact, I thought about it a lot.  When we got engaged to be married, I thought I was well on my way to having my sexual desires fulfilled for life.  This engagement period and wedding ceremony were only a means to an end.  I planned the perfect honeymoon and had great ideas to bring to our sexual relationship.  There was one thing that I overlooked.  I never communicated any of this to Nancy and that became a huge obstacle.

My sexual education began in fifth or sixth grade.  One of my good friends Dad was a medical doctor.  When we spent the night at his house, we would get his Dad’s illustrated medical books and ‘examine the human body’.  That put a lot of images into my mind that I really had no idea how to process.  The only really good thing that came out of that experience was that I knew the proper medical term for most of the sexual parts.

I can remember being in the locker room after practice as a Freshman in High School and hearing the senior guys talk about their sexual exploits.  I really looked up to these guys and hung on their every word.  The problem was that most of their stories were either not true or greatly exaggerated.  My sex education took another wrong turn.

The confusion continued and I brought a suitcase full of sexual baggage into our marriage.  My ideas about sex were totally based on the context of the culture I lived in.  Sex was sex and building a great sex life in marriage would not take any effort at all.  It would just happen.  It did not take long for me to realize how far that was from the truth.

How did you view sex before marriage?  How did that influence your sex life in marriage?  Is your sex life in marriage everything it could be? If not, why not start working on it today?

Dr. Kim