Money and Divorce – Why Does it Happen?
According to a study conducted by Ramsey Solutions, money is the second leading cause of divorce, second only to infidelity. It makes sense – money and stress are both precursors to fights which often end up in divorce. But why does money cause divorce? What are the driving factors?
It all comes down to each party feeling equal or as if they have a say in the financial matters. When that doesn’t happen, fights and often divorce are the next steps. Check out the top reasons couples divorce due to money.
Unmatched Priorities
Some people are spenders, others are savers and many fall somewhere in between. It’s important to have that money conversation before you talk about getting married. When two partners don’t understand where the other stands with money, it can lead to friction. If one partner haphazardly spends while the other scrimps and saves every penny for large goals, it could lead to fights and disaccord throughout the marriage.
Financial Baggage
Many partners come to a marriage with their own financial baggage. Whether they have credit card debt, student loans, or other financial issues, it all comes to the table once you get married. Many couples don’t realize the stress this may cause within the marriage. Even though it’s “his debt” or “her debt” it suddenly becomes “our debt” when you merge finances and have to cover the bills. This can cause resentment and fights in the marriage as financial priorities waiver.
Unapproved Debt
When one partner has a spending problem, there’s often credit card or home equity debt that goes along with it. While one partner is working hard to get out of the debt, the other continually creates it, making it a never-ending cycle. There can be a lot of hard feelings and frustration on the part of the partner working so diligently to get out of debt.
Financial Cheating
Yes, you can cheat financially. Anything that you aren’t open and honest about with your spouse regarding finances is cheating. Whether there are secret bank accounts, hidden credit cards, or certain addictions (gambling, drugs, etc.) that affect the finances, it’s financial infidelity and can feel just as bad as physical infidelity.
Fight for Financial Dominance
In most relationships, one person wants the financial power or the right to make the decisions. Whether that’s the one person working in the relationship or the one that “comes from money,” it can lead to fights. If one person tries to dictate how the spending will occur, it can create resentment, especially if the other partner has no say in the finances.
Bottom Line
According to Proverbs 29:18, “Where there is no vision, the people perish.” In order to win with money, couples must have a plan for their money. They should have open and honest conversation regarding their financial goals and dreams. Seek solutions to address any financial shortcomings. Both individuals must actively discuss and agree on how their hard-earned income is spent by working on a budget together monthly. Finally, both partners must understand that in a marriage, it’s no longer ‘’his” or “her” debt, but “our” debt. Additionally, pray to Christ Jesus for wisdom on how to be good steward with money and seek the help of a financial coach to provide guidance how to create a budget and develop a plan to win with money.
Are you and your spouse ready to repair your relationship with money? Book Complimentary Consultation: www.healmyfinance.com
Alecia O'Connor is an entrepreneur and trained financial master coach through Ramsey Solutions. She has been married for over 17 years, a mother of two beautiful girls and follower of Jesus Christ. Her core mission is to help married couples and individuals across the US take control of their finance, save, give and build wealth God's way. Her past and current work experience include working as a Financial Analyst and Tax Auditor.
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