Living Counterculturally

There are many reasons why our culture today is conducive to affairs. Think about the number of books, popular TV shows, and movies that have one or more affairs going on in the story line. Today we easily connect through social media with members of the opposite sex. Regardless of where someone lives, they can find an old boyfriend or girlfriend in a matter of seconds. There are more women in today’s workforce than ever before, and many of them travel as part of their job. For these—and many other—reasons, our culture seems favorable for the development of affairs. Yet, if you ask someone if they think having an affair is okay, the answer is usually no. Unfortunately what we say and what we do can be very different. Our culture says no while screaming yes everywhere we look.

A recent survey says that 65 percent of men and 55 percent of women will have an affair at some level during their marriage. Let that one soak in. If you line up ten of your couple friends, over half of them will be involved in an affair. I counsel a lot of couples who are in counseling because one has gone outside the marriage. If I had to “profile” these people, this is what I would say:

• Most would say they are Christians.

• Most are involved at some level in their local church.

• Most rationalized step after step until it was finally too late.

• Most had no idea how devastated their spouse would be.

• About half of them want to fight for their marriage.

The bottom line is this: No matter what our culture says is right or wrong, we have to make a choice. Do we go along with the flow or do we live counterculturally? My observation is that those in the “flow” are not doing very well. Certainly, going the other way is not always easy, but the end result is always worth the fight. Which way will you go?