Insights from Dr. Kim: Adam and The “Me” Generation

In many ways culture has tried to put millennials in a box. Some have used a list of adjectives to describe millennials as a whole, and people assume it fits everyone that falls into that group. My online search turned up these words describing millennials: entitled, egotistical, and the “selfie generation” or the “me generation.” Sources say these are the kids who got trophies for walking onto a playing field and as adults, are now suing the higher learning institutions they graduated from because they cannot get a job. So when we look inside that “millennial box,” we see a pretty negative picture. 

As a counselor, I have never been fond of labels. I don’t think anyone should be put in a box. But where you find a label, you usually find a grain of truth. For each of us, it is a call to action to see if we are wearing any of those labels. I really think that most millennials are just trying to figure life out, and Christian millennials are trying to see who God created them to be. Labels don’t work well for us as individuals, and they certainly have no place in marriage. We get a great example in the first part of the Bible when Adam and Eve bit into the fruit God told them not to eat. When God showed up, Adam decided it was all about him. Instead of taking responsibility, he pointed his finger at Eve and said, “It’s her fault.” It looks like the “me generation” began with Adam!

So what does taking responsibility as a married millennial mean for you and your spouse? A great place to begin is to stop blaming each other. You are a team, and that means when one of you messes up, you right the ship together instead of pointing your fingers at each other. Then discuss some of those undesirable adjectives together. Be honest with each other. Do they fit? If so, taking responsibility for your thoughts and your actions will be a great step in removing those adjectives. 

I see many Christian millennials seeking to affect social change through their jobs and volunteer work. I see great young leaders looking to God for guidance as they seek to make a difference. I see a different “box” for the millennial couples I know: I see them taking responsibility and seeking God’s plan for their life and marriage, and that is really the bottom line. God has a plan for both of you individually and as a couple, just like he has had for every person and every couple in every other generation. If you are weighed down by the labels in your box, being responsible may be as simple as changing “boxes.”

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