Nancy and I have been married for a really long time. We met on a blind date. We had never seen each other and knew very little about each other. We were also very young. Nancy was 18 and I was 20. As I have been writing this blog series for singles, I thought about the process we went through. This is what I remember.

My list of what I wanted in a mate was very short. I wanted someone that had similar values and beliefs. My parents lined up well in this area and it made sense to me. I also wanted someone that I was physically attracted to. Nancy was off the charts in this area. Honestly, I think that was it. Not a very long or deep list. I had not spent much time in preparing it.

Recently, I asked Nancy what was on her list. She wanted someone with money or the ability to make money. She had seen her family struggle in this area and it was a source of conflict in their home. She also wanted someone athletic. She got a guy that went into ministry (limits on money) and that was not very athletic. So much for her list.

We dated two years and got married. We had about a year of things being pretty good and then the problems began. We had no clue how to do marriage and had done very little to prepare.

If we had done the things that I have suggested to you, would things have been different? Probably. We would have been more aware of areas we needed to work on and we probably would have dated longer before marriage. We definitely would have had more complete lists. But I know we would still have married. Why? We will talk about that on Monday.

Dr. Kim

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Finding a Mate: Day 4