What do you want in a future mate? Have you taken the time to think this through? What are the qualities and values that you would like them to have? What have you learned you really like from past relationships? What have you learned that you do not like from past relationships? Make another list as you think through these questions.

As you look at your list, ask yourself this question, “What things are essential for your future spouse to have?” Mark an “A” by these. These are your absolutes. Thenlook at the remaining items on your list. Are there some of these that are negotiable? If they are, put an “N” by these. Now you have a template to place over everyone that you consider going on a date with. If someone does not fit your absolutes, pass on the date. For example, if one of your absolutes is that the person is a Christian and the person you are considering going on a date with is not, don't go. It will not do you any good at all to make your list of absolutes and then ignore them.

So spend time on your list. Think it through. Pray about it. Once you have it made never compromise unless God Himself tells you to. You may be tempted. No. You will be tempted. The ‘right’ person may not come along for a while or for a very long time. You may get tired of being alone. You may decide that it is okay for you 'to settle.' I promise you this, if you wait and if you do not compromise, you increase your chances of having a successful relationship many times over. Waiting is hard but it will be worth the wait.

Dr. Kim

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Finding a Mate: Day 2