Do You Play Marriage Detective?
Growing up, I remember my mom saying, “I’ve got eyes in the back of my head.” And I suspected she really might! Somehow she seemed to know when my sisters and I were up to no good, even from across the house.
I’ve done my best to carry on the tradition, because kids can be tough. They just don’t know how to deal with their feelings very well yet. But sometimes they really make it easy... You know the thing where if your toddler gets suspiciously quiet, they might just be up to something? Or if your tween is unusually grumpy at bedtime, it might be their hurt feelings from earlier during the day coming out sideways?
The same does not need to be true in marriage. Our wants or needs should not be a guessing game for our spouse. We can’t saddle them with a mystery to solve every time we feel grouchy, grumpy or “off.”
Instead of expecting our spouse to intuitively look out for our needs, wants, moods and expectations, we need to take responsibility for those. We must begin to articulate what we feel, need and hope for; and to weigh whether those expectations are fair and realistic.
Since I already fessed up to my poor communication, I might as well mention that I constantly need to grow in this area. And I know I must not be alone, since communication was mentioned as the top issue couples are dealing with!
As Podcast Producer here at Awesome Marriage, I get to listen to every word of every podcast we bring you. (That’s a lot of words! Hard to believe we’re at over 475 episodes!) The Achieving Awesome Communication Series has been so, so helpful this summer. Wherever you’re starting, there’s a simple step you can take to move forward. Don’t ignore the low-hanging fruit. Consistent small steps can set you on the path to a much better marriage!
So check out the podcasts and discuss them with your spouse. Read the Achieving Awesome Communication YouVersion Plan. Don’t make your needs a secret. Don’t ask your spouse to have “eyes in the back of their head,” or to play detective. Start with any one step to grow toward Awesome Communication - I don’t think you will ever regret it.
Are you ready to build awesome communication in your marriage and intentionally connect with your spouse? Join Dr. Kim for the “7 Communication Mistakes Couples Make in Marriage” webinar.