A Difficult Person

Do you have a difficult person - or difficult people - in your life? Do you sometimes think that difficult person is your spouse? If I am being honest, I can be a difficult person in my marriage. I can be short. I can be distant and unfocused. I can want to be alone when Nancy wants me to be with her. I can also think at times that she is difficult. She can shut me out. She can give me her opinion when I have not asked for it. She, too, can be distant.  

If I were to ask your spouse if you are ever a difficult person, what would they say?  What examples would they use to back this up? How would you answer this question if your spouse asked?  

I think at times all of us can be difficult. If this premise is true, what do we do about it? In our marriages, I think that there is only one answer. We must choose not to take it personally and refuse to be offended. Proverbs 19:11 in the Message says, “Smart people know how to hold their tongue; their grandeur is to forgive and forget.” Look at the wisdom in those 15 words. If I am being difficult and Nancy says nothing, but instead she thinks in her mind, “he must have a lot on his mind,” or “I bet he has had a rough day,” then she can put it in perspective and not react in a negative way. The same would be true for me if she were being difficult. 

The solution is two-fold. First, hold your tongue. That way you say nothing that you may later regret. Second, do not take it personally. Refuse to be offended, forgive, and move on. It sounds simple but I know it can be difficult. Yet, when you choose that path, you win, your marriage wins, and it gives your spouse time to work through whatever is bothering them. It’s another thing you do that will give you an Awesome Marriage.