COVID-19 and Your Marriage: BALANCE

In my book 7 Secrets to an Awesome Marriage, the fifth secret is BALANCE. We learn at a pretty early age that balance is important. Remember trying to ride your bike for the first time?  Balance in marriage takes both of you. It’s something to pursue together. When you are both doing your part in marriage you usually stay in balance. We get out of balance when one of us does not do our part or something comes between the two of us. Even though balance is something most of us consistently have to work on, it’s more than worth it.  

Let’s look at two ways to keep balance in your marriage. First, friendship. I talk a lot about the importance of a couple being best friends. For us, being best friends gave us a commitment to each other and to our marriage that has been foundational. It has helped us to calm down in the midst of a fight. It’s made it easier to say I’m sorry. It’s helped us to be okay with each other even when we did not really understand where the other was coming from. It’s acceptance, respect, and sharing with each other at the deepest levels.

If we have learned anything during this COVID-19 pandemic, it is the importance of time management. It is so easy for Nancy and I to get so caught up in what we are doing that we squeeze out some of the things that we really enjoy. We want to put some of these back into our lives consistently. We have spent time sitting on our patio and enjoying the beauty of nature all around us every evening. Going hiking on the weekends has been a blast and enjoyably challenging at times. Working out at home has given us more time together in the morning. We may go back to the gym, but maybe not. Yes, there are still only 24 hours in every day, but there are a lot of ways to arrange those hours to the betterment of your marriage.

Other areas of balance include making time to have fun together, creating family traditions, and staying financially sound. Here are some next steps for you as you work to improve the balance in your marriage.

Next Steps:

1. Each of you rate your friendship with each other on a 1-10 scale. Share your number.

2. Each of you come up with one thing that would move your friendship up one point and then follow through on your ideas.

3. What have you learned about time management during this time of being sheltered at home?

4. Each of you come up with something you are doing now that you want to continue in the future because it is good for your marriage. Now follow through!

5. Is there another area of balance the two of you could work on together that would improve your marriage? If so, what is your first step in the process?