Are You Marriage-Aware?

I always wanted to be an attentive mother, intensely aware of my children, their needs and what it takes to parent them well. The kind of mother that anticipates her children's needs long before they need it. 

Then I had babies. And I realized it’s really hard to be aware of someone who can’t talk to you, or anticipate someone’s needs when that person can’t speak. It was a confusing, stressful, sleepless season where I mostly just reacted to what happened each day. Each day the baby needed something new and different. I never did get great at the baby stage or learn that secret baby language. Praise Jesus children are resilient! 

Living in reactive mode is stressful. You feel like you are putting out fires and never really getting anything done. Living in a relationship meant for two but only knowing your side is not effective. 

One of the best things you can do for your marriage is to be proactive, not reactive. Assess your marriage, think about your marriage, and ask yourself questions about your marriage before you get to a place where things are out of control. Don’t ignore your marriage until you're in tears in the counseling room, check on it regularly. 

Strive to be self-aware and marriage-aware. Do you know where your marriage is today? Is it thriving? Is it barely surviving? Is it full of unresolved hurt that you’re ignoring? Is it connected? 

Here’s the thing: you can’t answer these questions, because you are just one piece of your marriage. Just like I never learned the secret of baby language, you can’t be marriage-aware by just asking yourself these questions. 

It takes two to be marriage-aware. You can’t answer these questions alone. You need to hear from your spouse. It takes conversations. It takes being self-aware and spouse-aware. It takes being proactive together and checking in. 

If you’re not marriage-aware today, make a plan to get there! 

Ask good questions, think and pray about your marriage, communicate your needs and desires to your spouse. Set up a regular time for you two to assess, pray for, and communicate about your marriage.

We’ve created a few simple tools to help you check up on your marriage. You can learn more below!

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Here at Awesome Marriage we have a Weekly Marriage Check Up Guide you can use to check in with your spouse weekly. Use this tool to check in with your spouse once a week so that you can be marriage-aware and proactive in your most intimate relationship. 

We’ve also created a brand new resource to give you a deeper annual marriage assessment tool: The Annual Marriage Check Up Guide. Be proactive about reviewing this past year and building an awesome marriage! 

This Annual Marriage Check Up Guide is designed to help you reflect and have fruitful  conversations about your marriage. Make plans and goals to grow in your marriage this upcoming year! 

You can snag either or both of these resources with any donation made to the ministry of Awesome Marriage. When you donate on the specific resource giving page you’ll get the resource automatically sent to your email in your donation receipt. 

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Written By Christina Dodson, COO of Awesome Marriage